And Nate is the spider killer. Now I actually think spiders are pretty cool, provided they are outdoors and observe the restraining order that says they have to stay outside a 20 foot radius of my person at all times. Pictures and documentaries are okay. In the house, all bets are off. But spiders are clever. They know I am incapable of touching them without getting a serious case of the heebie jeebies. So when they think I'm alone, they start the approach. Most the time, though, they don't get far before the great hand of Nate comes smashing down on them. But Nate spends a lot of time at work during the week. Sometimes I'm forced to track a spider's movement for hours, if not days, until he is available for the killing. So I have to take a chance when I have one.
This is a picture of a spider that I just forced Nate to get out of bed and kill. Now before you point fingers, in my defense, he was going to work super early in the morning so I wouldn't have been up to tell him about the spider then, spiders have been known to crawl in and out of people's noses while they sleep (thank you, to the documentary Arachnophobia for that little tidbit), and this one had freakishly long legs.
Still, he's probably going to kill me when he wakes up in the morning and remembers.
But hey, I'm not totally useless, you know. It's just spiders I can't kill (and also house centipedes. Have you seen those things? Google it. SPAWN OF THE DEVIL). I did put an end to another dangerous vermin tonight, with my bare hand no less:
8 comments:
hahahahahahahahahaaha. i am not laughing at your Maralee...but with you...I don't like noises in the night and will wake Troy out of deep sleeps to go an investigate...he does not appreciate it...but I do.
I have a vague recollection of this. I imagine I was quite grumpy - my apologies darling.
I don't recall having a hard time going back to sleep, so I think you are mostly off the hook (though more french toast would be nice...).
Those house centipedes are very freaky, I'm glad they don't seem to be inhabiting MY house.
What I would like to see is a recipe for that French Bread! I also am the weekend breakfast maker...
LOL! That made me laugh. I love reading your blog. Please post more. You make me laugh so hard!
I agree with you Mara...but I have a solution...even I will go after the bugs now - and get my revenge.
You need to go to Harbor Freight - here is the list of ones in NJ (hopefully one is near you)
BRICK, 2770 HOOPER AVE, STE 1
EGG HARBOR TWSP, 6701 BLACK HORSE PIKE
EWING 1550 NORTH OLDEN AVE
ISELIN 675 US HWY 1 SOUTH,STE 15
SADDLE BROOK 441 MARKET ST
VINELAND20 WEST PARK AVE
Then you purchase the "electronic fly swatter"
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=40122
Finally you put the fly swatter (with button pushed) onto said Nasty-rotten bug! They curl up and die! Not very humane...but Nate isn't either. I have killed numerous HUGE spiders, mosquitos, and WASPS (not the usually friendly White Anglo Saxton Protestants) that have entered our home - it works and it is only $8 (batteries not included and it uses 2 D batteries but still - Worth it!!!
Oh I forgot to tell you...they stick to the screen so you just take them outside or to the trash can and never have to touch them...even with a tissue...IT ROCKS!!!
Mara, you are the best! I love reading your blog. The spider / breakfast story was funny, and so true about marriage. And, the Evil Baby story was one of the best sibling stories I've heard in a long time. Keep writing!
Best regards,
Sara
Yes, I agree!!! House centipedes are definitely the spawn of the devil. We encountered quite a few our first few weeks in New Jersey. They freaked us out!! We still see a few now and then, but at least they're not poisonous and don't bite (like the real centipedes in Hawaii do!).
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